


Between Dreams

by regenderate



Series: Fanzine Prompts [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regenderate/pseuds/regenderate
Summary: “I sleep sometimes,” the Doctor said. “Every few nights or so.”“Tonight’s not one of the lucky ones?” Yaz asked.“I think it is, actually,” the Doctor said. “The lucky nights don’t have to deal with my dreams.”





	Between Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this for a fanzine anonymous prompt thing ages ago and then forgot to post it! so here it is!

Sometimes, when she took her friends home and they were asleep, the Doctor spent hours sitting next to the TARDIS, watching the world sleep. It was one of her favorite times, in a lot of ways-- crickets chirped, the darkness settled around her like a blanket, and her friends were all safe and nearby and getting a good night’s sleep. It was the closest she ever got to peace.

She was sitting one night, leaned back against the TARDIS doors, eyes closed, listening to the crickets, when she heard someone sit down next to her. 

“Who’s there?” she asked, eyes still closed.

“Just me,” Yaz’s voice said.

The Doctor opened her eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Yaz explained. “Thought I’d come see if I could find you. Since I’m pretty sure you never sleep.”

“I sleep sometimes,” the Doctor said. “Every few nights or so.”

“Tonight’s not one of the lucky ones?” Yaz asked.

“I think it is, actually,” the Doctor said. “The lucky nights don’t have to deal with my dreams.” A moment after she said it, she almost wished she hadn’t. She was relaxed, and the words she was thinking were slipping through the barriers she usually put up, but-- she liked the barriers. They were there for a reason.

“I’m sorry,” Yaz said, and then there was a hand covering hers. “I didn’t know you had dreams.”

“Oh, everyone has dreams,” the Doctor said. “Some of mine are brilliant, you know. But some of them are much much worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Yaz said again. 

For a moment, they were both silent, looking out at the estate, listening to the crickets.

“Why do you stay here?” Yaz asked. “When we’re all asleep?”

“I like to stay on your timeline,” the Doctor said. “When I can. Helps to not complicate things.”

“I never thought about that,” Yaz said.

“I’m trying to do right by you,” the Doctor said. “You and Ryan and Graham. I want to get it right this time.”

“This time?”

Oh. That was another one her barriers would have caught.

“I get it wrong sometimes,” the Doctor said. “I warned you, remember? Life with me is dangerous.”

“Not because of you,” Yaz said. “You’re doing your best.”

The Doctor wished she could be like Yaz, young enough to assume the best of everyone, kind enough not to let them feel sad, adventurous enough to take those emotional risks.

“It’s not always good enough,” she said. “Even the smallest mistake can kill thousands, Yaz. And sometimes killing thousands is the best option, because if you didn’t, even more would die. I have to make those decisions sometimes. Much more often than I’d like.”

“Still,” Yaz said, and the Doctor’s hearts ached at her kindness. “You go through your life with love.”

“I didn’t always,” the Doctor said. “It’s hard to love, Yaz, you know that? It’s a job, sometimes.”

“But you do it now,” Yaz said. “And you can commit to continuing. Right?”

“I commit every day,” the Doctor said. “Again and again and again.” She leaned her head back against the TARDIS. “You know,” she added, “the other Time Lords would be appalled, if they knew I was trying to be so loving. They believe in rules. Got to follow the rules. Never question the rules. Hated them.”

“Can’t imagine you following someone else’s rules,” Yaz said.

“That’s why I like humans so much,” the Doctor said. “Always breaking rules. Doing what they think is right. Sometimes it’s disastrous. But I love it.”

“There you go,” Yaz said. “Love.”

The Doctor smiled despite herself.

“Love,” she repeated, and she closed her eyes again against the darkness.  
  



End file.
